He couldn't help but get a little excited about the spell, as it had been his idea. "It is a great little spell. She casts it onto a reflective surface -- in this case, my pocket watch -- and with a certain word, the speaker can get a visual on Spike. It should make the tracking much easier."
"...You might want to put a censor on that bad boy," Faith replied. "Imagine you say the magic word and you see a naked bare assed Spike; could ruin your whole day."
Written by Diana and Erin; Nominated by Sonya
------------------------------
That problem taken care of, Rath looked back down at Liz. She was still not moving. He couldn't wait for her to regain consciousness on her own. If he was going to do something to save her, it had to be now.
He ripped her shirt open to get access to the bare skin beneath. Placing his hand on her stomach and trying not to look at the blood that had turned her white and yellow, poka-dotted bra into a deep crimson color, Rath sent a small jolt of power into her. Just like those shock-paddles that the doctors on TV and movies always used on their patients, this sent a small jolt of eletricity through Liz's body. Hopefully enough to wake her up but not enough to hurt her.
"Liz!" Rath yelled. The smell of the burned flesh on his arm was making him sick to his stomach, but he pushed that aside. "Ya gotta wake up!"
A small hand reached out and touched Liz's neck, right where her pulse would be. Somehow Dawn had managed to avoid the shockwave Rath had sent after the other humans. Now she knelt beside Liz, heedless of the blood pooling around her, and there was something in the way she looked at the strange alien that suggested, for the moment at least, she didn't care who he was or where he came from or even what he had done to her. There was trust that should not have been there, yet somehow still existed.
"I don't feel a pulse," she whispered before her eyes dropped down to Liz. "Do something," she said harshly, and it wasn't clear if she was talking to her brother's friend, or to the enemy trying, inexplicably, to save her.
Written by Lisse (1st part by Sonya); Nominated by Sonya
------------------------------
"A lot," Kyle said, confirming the obvious. "And not all of us are useless. Thanks to Max and some...training, I can surprise your alien enemies if given a shot."
< snip >
Aloud, she [Ava] asked Kyle, "What can ya do? I'd like ta see it..." She smiled at him.
"Me too," Dawn added excitedly. "You could do something Matrixy. Like Keanu Reeves, only more articulate."
Written by Frank, Erin and Lisse; nominated by Sonya and Angela
------------------------------
Lindsey frowned. "Okay, I'm sorry, but that is just not true." He tilted her face up with a finger under her chin so that she was meeting his gaze. "Now you can sit out here sulking all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that you are strong enough to face them. You *can* face your past. Because you are the strongest person that I've ever met."
Lindsey looked down at his hands for a second before meeting her gaze again. He didn't want to tell anyone this, but Zeke needed to hear it. "You said before, when we were standing outside of Senior Chow's, that I was stronger than you. That I could face up to my past and everything that Wolfram and Hart had done to me and come out on top. But that's not true. There are things in my past that I haven't told anyone. Things I can't deal with, so I just push them away. Things about where I came from, about what I've done, about who I am..." he trailed off, unable to actually bring himself to tell her about the dirty shack that he and his family had called home for years until the collection agency came and took it away, leaving them homeless. About the brother and sister that he'd never gotten to know before flu season kicked in and they'd died before reaching their first birthdays. About how, as soon as he had enough money saved up from part time jobs and a couple of academic scholarships under his belt, he'd left home to go to Boston for college and never looked back once. About how he'd used his first real paycheck from Wolfram and Hart to put his dad in a retirement home and his sister in a condo in Florida so that he wouldn't have to deal with them in person... trying to buy off his guilt over abandoning them by providing a steady allowance of money. All this so he wouldn't have to think about how he had missed his own mother's funeral because of midterms, and how he hadn't been there when his younger brother drank himself to an early grave. Anything to keep his mind off the fact that he'd sold out his own family for success.
"But you... you face your past. You're open about it, no matter how painful. And that's how you're strong, Zeke." He attempted a smile, though it came off rather shaky. "So I know that you can do this, you can face them, no problem. But if you really want to leave, just say the word and we're in the car and out of here in five seconds flat."
Lindsey looked from the car to the house, raising an eyebrow. "So... which is it gonna be?"
Written by Sonya; nominated by Laine
------------------------------
Xander - the only person aside from Aidan and Spike who was in the room in general - shrugged. "We could punch him a few times. Maybe bloody his nose. Just for fun, of course." He grinned wolfishly at Spike, letting the vampire know that he was hoping Aidan would agree to his suggestion.
Written by Sonya; nominated by Courtney
------------------------------
Loni could tell that she had pushed her last button. She rolled her eyes and clenched her teeth and took a few deep breaths. She knew she had to come up with something to calm Rath down, but she couldn't do that if she was pissed off herself.
Once Loni got her temper under control, she looked out of the corners of her eyes at Rath. "Rath, it's not dat big a deal, and I didn't have time ta talk to ya about it. I was jus tinkin, dat jus maybe, if dese dupes know how to git home, we coulda used da girl as a pawn, dat's all." Loni left out about the Granalith. She knew that none of the other New York three knew about it, and, if she could help it, she was going to keep it that way.
Rath narrowed his eyes at Loni. She was being way too nice. It wasn't like her. She was only like that when she was lying to somebody, usually Zan or one of her boytoys. But he'd never heard her use that tone of voice with him before.
Something cold clenched around his heart and he just knew, deep in his gut, that she was lying to him. "Fine, Lon. Sorry I snapped at ya," he replied, though he wasn't as good of an actor as Loni, so he still managed to sound pissed off.
Retreating inside himself, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the window, trying to sort things out in his own mind. Loni was lying to him. And if she could lie to him now, there was no reason to believe she hadn't been lying to him all along. He could no longer trust her. And since she had been the ONLY person he had ever trusted aside from himself... that left him with nobody to trust. He was truly on his own.
Written by Courtney and Sonya; Nominated by Erin
------------------------------
Then, Liz stepped behind the counter with Michael. "So, stud," she joked, "you wanna make the shake, or shall I? Alien Berry is pretty popular today."
Rath sighed. Alien Berry, it was just too sad, humans trading off of his species like that. "Nah, you can do the honors, I'll supervise."
Seeing a case of tacky, plastic, multi-colored, alien-head straws, Rath rolled his eyes. Would it never end? Taking a purple straw from its home in the canister on the counter, he caught the end between his thumb and forefinger and flicked the straw at Liz, using a teensy bit of alien juice to propell the flying projectile on its way. It bounced harmlessly off of the top of Liz's head and Rath gave the brunette a wicked grin. "Aliens are attacking Earth!" he told her, completely deadpan, except for the amusment twinkling in his eyes. "Run for your life!"
Liz rolled her eyes at Michael, and picked up the straw. Then, in a moment of mischeviousness, she made her fingers into the shape of a gun and pointed it at the purple alien head.
"One more move, mister, and your buddy here gets it."
Rath rolled his eyes and flashed her a smile. "Ooooh... I'm tremblin' in my boots over here, Lizzie."
Then she laughed a little and threw the purple straw away. She had to brush against Michael to get to the trash can. "'Scuze me."
Rath, seeing her moving to throw the straw away, had pivoted just slightly on his heels to make the most of her movement. When she reached around him to toss the hidious straw into the waste basket, her entire body had to brush against his from hip to shoulder. The fingers of his right hand, which was currently resting down by his side and between the two of them, slid across her flat stomach and the soft flare of her hip. Her skin felt warm, even through her sea-green uniform. [Gawd, how can Mikey work heah wit' dis gurl every night an' not wanna jump her in da back room? What an asshole, lettin' little Liz get away so easily.] He wanted to spin her around and kiss her senseless right here in front of everyone, but he restrained himself. That would probably be a very un-Michael-ish thing to do. The prick. Living his life was quite the challenge, apparently. Surrounded by beautiful women and not doing a damn thing about it.
"Not a problem," he said aloud, his voice a low whisper only Liz could hear, his hand still hovering at her slim waist. Then his fingers slid up, trailing lightly up and down her arm. He used just teensy bit of alien juice to send a warm tingle through her skin, something he knew from experience drove most chicks crazy in a decidedly good way. And, seeing as he stood between her and anyone else's view of what was going on, no one but he and Liz would even know what he was doing.
Then she began loading up the milkshake machine for yet another Alien Berry extravaganza.
Luckily for him, the milkshake machine was right by the trashcan, so she wasn't going anywhere any time soon.
As Liz blended the vanilla icecream with milk and blackberries she tried to keep her face calm while inside her thoughts were whirling out of control.
Had it been her imagination, or had Michael groped her just then? He hadn't coped a feel or grabbed her butt or anything, but there was something sexual about the way his hand had grazed her stomach as she leaned past him to throw away the straw. That stupid, purple straw!
It must have been her imagination, right? Michael was head over heels in love with Maria, especially now that they had gotten back together. He wouldn't be trying to jump Liz's bones. Michael wasn't a bone jumping kind of guy. But, if it had been just an innocent touch that didn't mean anything, why was she so worked up about it? And why had it left tingles in her stomach?
And that was the part that was worrying her the most...
Rath couldn't keep from grinning as he watched her studiously try to avoid his gaze as she blended that shake way beyond what a shake needed to be blended. Damn, if he wasn't getting to her, he'd never trust his female-arousal-radar again. This was definitely progress.
She was saved from having to talk by the whirring of the milkshake blender. When she finally turned it off, the Alien Berry shake was *really* well blended.
With practiced ease, Liz poured the shake into a glass, plunked in a straw and a spoon, and topped the whole thing off with blackberries and a squirt of whipped cream.
"Here you go, Dawn," Liz said brightly, sliding the glass in front of the younger girl.
She glanced at Michael and then looked away again, pretending to scan the restaurant. Where the hell had Maria gone?
"I guess I should go get that guy's order," she said, noticing that the guy in the Red Hot Chilli Peppers T-shirt still didn't have a beverage or anything. She glanced at Michael again, trying to get a bead on what he was thinking... "You ready to warm up the grill again?"
Rath frowned. Him stuck in the back room flippin' burgers while her tight little ass was out here with all the customers? Damn, that was a rough gig. There had to be *something* he could say to convince her she needed to come into the back with him. He just needed to figure out what that magic phrase was, and fast. Stalling for a bit of time, he raised an eyebrow and asked in a semi-joking tone of voice, "Ain't you got more than one waitress in this joint? Why should you have to do all the hard work? It's called deligating, Lizzie."
As he thought fast and furiously, he finally just blurted out, "Oh, by the way, we're out of that stuff again." It was a last ditch effort, yeah, but he wasn't going down with out a fight! Now all he had to do was think of something that a burger joint might actually be out of.... Mustard? Ketchup? No, they had little bottles of condiments out on each table. But there had to be *something* logical for him to say.....
Liz frowned fiercely at him, restaurant business forcing all the other stuff out of her mind. "You mean we're out of pepperjack again? Dad just ordered a new package from the grocer the other day. I saw him unloading it. I'd better go find it, but I don't have time to go looking for the stupid cheese, there are people who need orders and... But what if one of them orders pepperjack?"
Rath couldn't believe his luck! She'd just given him the perfect excuse! Now all he had to do was make sure she didn't find that pepperjack stuff - whatever the hell that was - too quickly.
Her eyes fell on an older lady in the same seagreen waitress uniform. "Agnes!" she cried. She glanced at her watch. It was about time for the dinner crew to come on. How had the afternoon slipped by so quickly? "Quick, go take that guy's order. It's been crazy."
"I was about to go for a smoke," Agnes grunted.
Liz frowned at the older lady. Now was not the time to be intimidated. "No, you're going to go take that guy's order and see if anyone needs anything else."
Agnes looked at the manager for a moment and then shrugged. "Fine. Whatever."
As Agnes shuffled off, Liz stood tall triumphantly. Anges and her sharp tongue always intimidated her, but this time she'd won. And, for about ten seconds, she'd managed to forget about Michael standing so closely behind her.
Raising an eyebrow, he nodded approvingly at her handling of that hag waitress. Little Lizzie had some spunk. Damn, he was going to enjoy winning her over.
Glancing back at him again, she said, "C'mon." She started walking toward the back. "See you in a bit, Dawn." To Michael she said, "Are you sure it's not in the fridge? Dad always puts it in the fridge and..."
Rath followed her, his brain already coming up with a thousand and one things one could do in the back room that would be more fun than looking for the stupid pepperjack. But first thing's first...
"I didn't see it," he commented, playing along with the "Mission: Pepperjack" scheme like a pro by adding just the right amount of "confused but helpful" to his voice.
As they entered the kitchen, Rath kept close to Liz, walking right behind her...
When they walked into the back room, Liz noted with one part of her mind that Isabel and Buffy were gone. Maybe Isabel had taken the Slayer outside to tell her the truth. Or maybe they'd had a fight and nothing had been said. Or maybe Isabel had lied again... the possibilities were pretty endless, but Liz knew that Isabel could handle herself.
Liz pushed through the kitchen door, and didn't bother to hold it open for Michael. He could take care of himself.
She walked straight over to the big, stainless steel fridge and opened the door. She crouched down to look in the back of the bottom shelf. If it was in here and Michael hadn't found it, it would be down here where he was too tall to see...
Rath caught the door before it hit him in the face and pushed through it, letting it swing closed behind him. Following Liz to the refridgerator, he held his breath as she opened the door and crouched down to begin looking for the cheese. And in so doing, he was relieved to note, she completely missed the pepperjack, which was sitting on the shelf third from the top, in plain sight. Reaching out a hand, he quickly changed the name on the bag of white-colored cheese, making it read "Monteray Jack" instead and then he made the little chunks of pepper in the cheese disappear so that the cheese was plain white. There, problem solved, now Liz would have to stay back here looking for the cheese for a while instead of going back out front.
Crouching down behind her, he leaned over her shoulder, playing the "looking for the cheese" game to his advantage as he got as close as possible to her without actually touching her. Rath could smell the shampoo she'd used this morning, something flowery and light and completely *Liz*, and suppressed a groan. She smelled way too good for just a human. It wasn't fair that she'd be affecting him almost as much as he was - hopefully - affecting her.
He noticed that she seemed to be really tense - probably from stressing out over the silly cheese - and placed a warm hand on her back, using just a touch of alien magic to soothe her nerves and relax her muscles a little bit. "Calm down, Liz," he said softly, his other hand reaching out and taking hold of her hands, which were frantically pushing food items aside in her quest, and stilling them. "You're getting too worked up over this. We'll find the cheese, don't worry."
Liz suddenly felt a relaxing warmth pass through her body. She looked up and right into Michael's eyes. She'd never noticed just how deep they were. Intense, yes; fierce, yes; but not... deep.
Her lips parted as she sucked in a gulp of air. Cool, refrigerated air blew on her face as she crouched there with him. After a moment, she spoke one, confused word.
"Michael?"
That was all the invitation Rath needed. Without saying a word, he leaned down and kissed her. He tried to be gentle and slow, knowing that was what she was probably used to from all the cowardly, reject guys around this town, but her mouth was so hot, her lips so soft. She was addicting, like a drug he didn't know he needed until now. Her lips, already slightly parted, tasted sweet like honey and he quickly deepened the kiss, parting her lips even more as he pulled her up to her knees and brought her body flush against his own, his arms winding around her waist and his hands splaying across her back...
For that one second, Liz felt herself swept away on the kiss. Her lips met his with passion. Crazy passion. Insane passion. Passion she couldn't control. She'd never felt anything like this before. And she couldn't get enough of it. She breathed in and felt his scent cling to her. She moved her hands, and felt the hard muscles of his chest. She wavered and then found herself gently lowered to a sitting position on the tile floor of the kitchen, cool air from the open refrigerator still blew on them, countermanding the heat of their skin.
"Michael," she whispered as he nibbled at her neck, leaving a trace of tingles. She hadn't felt this out of control in a long time. Not since the night she and Max found the orb burried in the desert... Max. Seeing his face in her mind and the hurt look in his eyes, that led to something even worse. Maria!
She couldn't do this to her best friend!
Liz pushed Michael away as hard as she could and stood up. She moved out of his reach and stood there, still panting. She looked around. No one was there staring at them with hurt, angry, accusing glances. A quick peep out the window showed her Maria and Anges out there, doing their thing. They were safe.
"Michael!" Liz said in a tone that she meant to be firm and ended up sounding quavery and weak. "What... why... I mean... Maria! I thought you and she were back together..."
Rath sat back on his heels, silently cursing his bad luck. She just *had* to go and ruin it all, thinking of Mikey's girlfriend. But, damn it, he was not about to let her get away so easily! Not after a kiss like that!
Standing up, he pushed the fridge door closed with a well-aimed kick and took two long steps so he had her with her back to the counter, unable to escape. Taking her face between both of his hands, he leaned in close and touched his forehead to hers, breathing in her sent. "Does it look like Maria and I are together now?" he whispered, his voice sounding strained and shaky to his own ears. His hands were trembling just a little bit and he couldn't make them stop. How did this girl, this silly little *human* girl, manage to make him so crazy? "I want you, Liz," he said, touching his nose to hers. "I've tried to fight it, but working here with you every day, being near you, it's driving me crazy. You can't tell me you don't feel anything for me, too." His hands slid down her arms and around to her tiny waist, picking her up easily and sitting her atop the counter, her legs on either side of his hips. "I know better." His hands skimmed up her back and burried themselves in her long hair, pulling it loose from the ponytail it had been in a moment ago. "Why else would you be trembling every time I get close to you?" He leaned in, his face inches away from hers, his thumbs lightly making circles on the skin at the nape of her neck. "Every time I touch you..." He brushed his lips across hers. "Every time I kiss you..."
It was like the world had pivoted on its axis and left her standing on her head. She kissed him back for just a second and the world spun again. She felt herself incredibly drawn to Michael. He'd become such a close friend, but this... nothing between them had ever felt like this before. And she wanted him. But... there were too many things, she just couldn't. She pulled back and ducked out underneath his arm.
"I can't, Michael. We can't. Maria would hate us... and Max... I can't hurt him like that either. I know we broke up, but I think he still loves me. And part of me still loves him... I gave him up for the Royal Four, but..."
Her eyes filled with tears, both for the past and for this strange, overwhelming longing that seemed to be tearing her apart.
Rath's brain was on overload. Not only was she shooting him down again, but she knew about the Royal Four? How the f*ck had that happened? The tiny bit of his brain that was still functioning rationally catalogued the name Max away for future reference, already guessing that this elusive Max was Zan's double in this one-horse town. Why else would Liz have to "give him up" for the sake of the Royal Four? But that was a puzzle for another time. Right now, all he wanted was to grab Liz and either kiss her or kill her, he wasn't sure which. But since she'd made it perfectly clear that choice "A" was not an option and choice "B" would definitely blow his cover, Rath was left with no options open to him. And that really pissed him off. He was angry, horny and his ego was majorly bruised, all of which did not make for a very good combination in the volital alien.
"Fine," he hissed at her, his eyes glinting dangerously. "Go back to Max, stay safe and never take a single risk in your entire life! Do whatever the f*ck you want, but don't expect me to give a rat's ass anymore!"
Striding over to the refridgerator door, he wrenched it open and grabbed the bag of white cheese that had formerly been the Pepperjack. Then he slammed the fridge door shut with a loud bang. Thrusting the bag of cheese into Liz's arms, he reached out and waved his hand over it, transforming it from Monteray Jack back into Pepperjack. "There, you got your cheese, now make your own damn burgers because I'm out of here!"
Throwing his lame apron and bandana onto the counter, Rath pushed open the door to the front room and walked out of the kitchen without looking back once. He strode through the main room of the cafe without bothering to look at anyone. He was not up to playing the role of Mikey G right now. He just really wanted to let off some steam. As he reached the front door to the Crashdown, an older guy - chubby and hispanic, wearing an apron and a hair net, with a name tag that read Jose - was just walking inside. He gave Rath a smile, seemingly oblivious to the anger that the younger guy was radiating. "Hey, Michael, getting off already? Good thing I decided to come in a few minutes early, eh amigo?"
Rath scowled at the guy. "Like I give a sh*t," he snapped, causing the Jose's eyes to widen considerably. Then he pushed by Mr. Tubby and headed out the door, glad to be out of the sufficating atmosphere of the Crashdown and on the streets again...
Written by Sonya and Erin; nominated by Courtney.
--------------------------------
Ava's normally pale face faded to a ghastly white at Isabel's words. How the hell could Loni and Rath have found her so quickly? She'd covered her tracks so well! But apparently Ava the Airhead hadn't covered her tracks as well as she wanted.
As she looked at Isabel, Ava frantically wondered what to do. Isabel wasn't reacting as well as Ava had hoped. And it was all Rath and Loni's damn fault! Tears welled up in Ava's eyes and spilled over her lashes. Helplessness began to well up inside of her. She sank down to the floor and sat crosslegged, clutching the backpack that held all of her worldly possessions.
Ava hadn't realized until this very moment how liberating it had been to leave New York. She hadn't realized how horrible her life had been until she was away from it. Stuff that seemed normal at the time -- stealing, the hitting, the pain, cracks made at her expense, the endless put downs, always being afraid that she would set someone off -- stuff that she'd learned to live with, a couple of days without all that made going back to it seem like hell on Earth. Ava doubted even getting home was worth that kind of hell.
She looked up at Isabel, and decided to try one more time. If it didn't work, Ava knew that she would have to run. She couldn't let Rath and Loni catch her. Ava was *not* going back to her old life. She couldn't take that again. She'd rather live on her own, without any of the other aliens! She'd even rather be dead! She wondered what Zan would think then.
"Der's two sets of us," Ava said bluntly. "I didn't know it 'til someone left a copy of yer yearbook outside o' our pad in New York City. When I found out about yous -- you an' Max -- I t'ought maybe you'd help me. Zan... he screws around on me, and... he hits me sometimes. Loni... she don' hit, but she makes me do stuff sometimes... stuff I don't wanna do." Ava's voice choked a little, but she kept on. "And Rath..." She shivered involuntarily. "...Rath don' care 'bout nuttin' but Loni. He'd kill me. I know it. Yer Royal Four got to live here in nice houses. We was dumped in the sewers."
Ava met Isabel's eyes. Ava was being honest now, almost totally. In fact, the only thing she was really hiding was her encounter with Tess earlier, and no one else could know about that.
"If Rath an' Loni find me here, I'm as good as dead. Dey might not kill me, if Zan wants me alive, but livin' wi' all dat stuff... it's like bein' dead. I didn't know how much 'til I ran away. I guess dey must've followed me somehow. I came here cuz I t'ought maybe you an' Max would help me. When I saw youse at da school today, youse seemed to have da one t'ing my Royal Four don't -- mercy."
She swallowed, and then added quietly, "But, if ya can't help me... could ya at least not tell Rath and Loni you seen me. I gotta get outta here. I can't take them alone."
Written by Erin; nominated by Sonya.
--------------------------------
Sighing, he pushed himself up to his feet, using the wall behind him for support seeing as his legs still felt a bit numb from the shock of everything that had happened to him in the last twenty minutes or so. "Um... I'll see you around, I guess." He groaned in frustration, clenching and unclenching his hands at his side. "God, that's just so... lame! After everything that happened last night and this morning... and all we can do is exchange pleasantries? It's bizarre and it's driving me crazy!" He looked Isabel in the eyes and felt his heart tug painfully in his chest. When he was with Isabel, everything felt so... right. Like they were destined to be together, made for each other and no one else. Their timing was just incredibly terrible, he supposed. Not that that made him feel any better. "Half of me wants to march right up to Cordelia's table and call everything off. And the other half... well, the other half doesn't know what to think, except that I don't want to hurt her. I *do* love her. Maybe not the same way as I love you, but..."
Xander froze. [Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod...] He had just said that he loved Isabel, like flat out said it. She'd *heard* him say it. And, the scariest part was, he'd meant it. And this was *so* not of the good. How could somebody love two people at the same time? He'd never even thought it was possible before now.
"What are we going to do, Isabel? How do we fix this? Do I tell her about us? Do we just try and pretend that last night never happened? I don't even know if I can do that any more... I'm so tired of lying to everyone... and seeing you every day but not being *with* you... I don't know if I can do that very for long without totally snapping."
'Wow, what a cornball!' Loni thought as she gazed into the eyes opposite her. 'What a sweet cornball. My double is lucky ta have someone dat luvs her so much...den again...it's kinda lame.' Loni wasn't sure what to do or say, so she did what came naturally--she grabbed the guy and planted a big wet sloppy kiss on his face.
Xander tried to pull away - after all, they were standing in plain view of anyone who just happened by - but Isabel was strong. And he didn't want to hurt her...
Something weird fluttered in the pit of his stomach as he felt Isabel's tongue push greedily into his mouth. Something was wrong here. Something... he didn't know what... but something... And he was starting to feel light headed. And that was when he just knew... this was *not* Isabel. Everything in him screamed that it wasn't her, no matter what his eyes had been telling him. She didn't move like Isabel, she didn't talk like Isabel... and she didn't kiss like Isabel. With Isabel, it was like drowning in honey. Like he could forget everything and just disappear inside of her. But this... Isabel-dupe... was different. It felt like she was trying to see if she could lick his tonsels. And it felt so... dirty. He wanted it to stop. Now. His hands tightened on her arms, preparing to wrench her away from him.
Loni was just starting to enjoy herself when something happened during the kiss. Something weird. She saw things. Things that weren't supposed to be in her head...things from--somewhere else. They were images of this guy!
*FLASH*
Xander tried to keep from crying. Big kids didn't cry. Even when they were spending Christmas Eve alone outside in a sleeping bag while their parent's loud voices could be heard amidst the sound of things crashing inside the house. Even when every part of their bodies hurt, including their hearts. Even when they knew that explaining the bruises and split lip in the morning would be next to impossible. Big kids didn't cry. And he was almost 13, so he was a big kid. But right now he felt like the littlest kid in the world.
*FLASH*
Then Xander walked out the back door and sat down outside on the grass, looking at the beautiful rays of light from the sunset. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he pulled them up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees and tried not to cry. It was just so frustrating sometimes! Half the people inside that house seemed to hate him or they just lived to agrivate him! And no matter what he did, he was still always wrong! He tried to be accepting of newcomers, like Jessica, and everyone acted like he was too trusting. He tried to be wary of them, like in Brenna's case, and everyone thought he was a mean, heartless freak! But all he was trying to do was protect his friends! Why did that make him heartless? Maybe they were right, maybe he was just a freak now. After all, he always managed to piss everyone off, didn't he?
Xander sighed, running his fingers through the soft dirt and tracing small circles in it. Then a terrible thought occured to him. He was always being possessed by evil powers, right? Well, maybe that was because he had less humanity in him to fight off the evil. Maybe he really wasn't a *real* human anymore. Maybe he *was* a monster.
As all these thoughts swirled through his brain, Xander finally couldn't hold the tears in any longer. They ran down his cheeks in torrents and he didn't even bother to wipe them away. After all, if he wasn't a real human anymore then they weren't even real tears, were they? And nothing he did even mattered...
*FLASH*
Xander felt a hand on his shoulder and had to fight the urge to reach back and break it in one clean snap. He felt like everything he saw was covered in a film of red. Part of that was the blood - Zeke's blood and a bit of his own - that covered his face, filling his nose with its coppery scent. He could feel the combination of the wolf and the slayer fighting within him, demanding release. The blood had him in a fever pitch, ready to take on the entire cafe.
Suddenly, Xander felt like he was lost, trapped inside a dark hole, unable to find his way out. Was this how Oz felt when the wolf took over during a full moon? This sense of being controlled, of being helpless? But for Oz, it all ended when the full moon as gone. For Xander, it was a constant thing. Like this surging darkness that was just waiting for him to slip up so that it could take control. A feral animal, right underneath his skin...
Xander felt his tears mingling with the blood, running into his mouth and leaving a salty/coppery taste on the back of his tongue. It shocked him into a sense of complete awareness. Gagging, choking, pressing his hands over his mouth and biting down until he tasted even more blood, Xander pushed himself backwards and away from everyone, curling up with his back to the peeling, pink wallpaper that adorned the diner walls and his knees pulled up tight against his chest.
He just wanted it to stop...
*FLASH*
The vamp managed to get a good lock on where Isabel's carotid was and prepared to sink her teeth into the milky white flesh.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Isabel screamed. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!! PLEASE! HELP!"
Just then, someone stepped up behind them and ripped the vampire away from Isabel, throwing it across the alley.
"Get behind me, " Xander hissed at Isabel. He crouched, prepared to leap at the vampire.
"Who the f*ck are you?" the vampire demanded, slowly picking herself up from the pile of trash cans she'd landed in and sent flying. Then she stopped and studied Xander closely for a moment before sneering. "Listen, wolf-boy, this is my prey. If you want a piece of the action, you'll have to find your own little blonde thing because this one's taken! But maybe, if you're nice, I'll let you have her when I'm done..."
Xander didn't even bother replying. He felt the wolf crying to bet let out and, for once in his life, he didn't fight it. As his eyes changed colors from a chocolate brown to a glowing gold and his forehead began to slope forward, Xander gave himself over to the change.
"I think you just messed with the wrong werewolf, fangs for brains," he snapped, though his voice had taken on a lower, more gravely sound with the change. And without another word, Xander lept across the alley, ramming into the vampire chick with enough force to send them both crashing into the wall. If they'd been normal humans, they would have broken bones with the impact. But they were anything but normal.
The vampire growled at Xander, her hands coming up to scratch at his face with her long nails. Xander winced and pulled back, turning into a high kick and catching her across the forehead. "Did anyone ever tell you that you fight like a girl?" he spat out at her, dodging her counter-attack easily and nailing her across the jaw with a well-timed uppercut.
"All the time," the vamp replied, sneaking through his defenses and kicking him in the groin. Then, she used his moment of pain to grab him by his hair and hurl him across the alley, leaving Isabel unprotected again.
"Ah, now, where were we?" the she-vamp asked, taking a step towards Isabel.
But before either of them even had a chance to react, a crossbow bolt sailed through the air and nailed the vampire right in the heart.
"Oh... f*ck..." she groaned before collapsing to the ground in a cloud of dust.
Xander, from his position on the other side of the alley, his crossbow - which had been stashed in his backpack - dangling from his right hand, sighed and leaned back against the alley wall. There was still blood on his face from where the vampire had sratched him. But it would heal. Fairly quickly in wolf form, as a matter of fact.
As he concentrated on breathing in and out and gaining control over the wolf again, he met Isabel's eyes from across the alley and he knew that his secret was out. Now he was just waiting for her to take one look at his messy, bloody, wolfy self - golden eyes and all - and run screaming from the alley. But at least he'd found her. After she'd run off into the night, he'd chased after her. He'd almost been too late. But she was alright. He gotten here in time. That was the important thing. Even if she could never look at him the same again, she was alive. He'd deal with the rest of his churning emotions later. For now, that was all that counted.
*FLASH*
Acting on instinct, and knowing that he would never get a chance to do this again, Xander reached out and touched Isabel's cheek, his fingers winding their way into her silky soft hair and pulling her closer to him, his head tilting down and meeting her lips in an intense kiss. He'd obviously caught her off guard because her mouth was slightly open in an "o" of surprise. Xander, knowing this was the only time he'd ever be able to be with her like this, took advantage of that to coax her mouth open with his tongue and deepen their kiss. He wanted to sear this memory onto his brain. The feel of her in his arms, her lips crushed against his, her breath warm on his cheek each time they broke for air. He was so involved in the moment that he forgot where he was and his legs bumped against the edge of his couch, sending him sprawling backwards onto it for the second time that morning. But this time, Isabel fell with him, his arms still wrapped around her waist and her hair falling loose from her pony tail and trailing over their faces. And, as impossible as he would have thought it, this was even better than the kiss in their dreams.
His hands slipped up underneath her t-shirt, stroking her back and shoulders as his lips moved away from hers and he made his way down the side of her neck, leaving what would probably be a fairly large hickey on the spot where her neck met her shoulder. Her t-shirt, a bit too big for her slender frame, slid to the side, baring one shoulder to Xander's questing mouth. Their legs tangled together, bringing their lower bodies even closer, as Xander's mouth returned to Isabel's lips...
*FLASH*
"Look, Cordelia, I know there are, like, a thousand and one different reasons why we shouldn't get married. We're still in high school and your parents hate me and, with my unique DNA, God only knows what our children would look like... if we decided to have children... but still, I love you and I know you love me and I think we could make it work. I just don't want to lose you, Cor. I mean..." Xander paused, mid-passionate speech, giving Cordelia a puzzled look, her hand still held tightly in his. "Wait... did you say... I mean, did I hear a... You said yes, right?"
"Yes," Cordelia said solemnly, "I did. We're getting married!"
Xander was stunned speechless.
[I'm getting MARRIED. Me. The King of Cretins is actually ENGAGED to the prom queen!]
He had spent so much energy on figuring out how to get her to say yes that he hadn't even thought about what to do once she did. He had no idea what to do next. What did one do once they were engaged? A ring. He needed to get her a ring. That was the first step, right? But how could he even afford a diamond ring on a fry cook's salary? It would take him years to save up enough money, and he doubted Cordelia wanted to have THAT long of an engagment. He couldn't ask his parents for the money; they'd kicked him out of the house and he'd been glad to go.
A million and one thoughts were whirling around in Xander's brain - and making him quite dizzy, as a matter of fact - but then he looked up and his gaze met that of the beautiful brunette sitting across the table from him. She was smiling at him. Time seemed to slow down as his barrage of thoughts faded away, leaving just one behind... [She looks so happy.]
Xander smiled at Cordelia, giving her hand a squeeze. "Yeah, we're getting married."
*FLASH*
Xander dropped his hand, looking away from Isabel. "Damn it," he swore under his breath. Standing up, he began to pace back and forth, his hands twitching with too much angry energy. "Don't you think it's hard for me, too? God, I'm committed to Cordelia. I've been with her for two and a half years! She's put up with all of my crap, followed me halfway across the country and doesn't care that I'm a complete freak. I mean, how can you sit there and be all judgmental when you have no idea what's going on inside *my* head? I'm not even *human*, Isabel! I spend half my time trying to control this... thing... inside of me so that I don't end up hurting people! I could, you know. Hurt people. Every second of every day, I think about it and have to fight the urge to just find some low-life scum bag and rip into him. Just to let off some steam. And every time I see your face and know that it won't work for a million different reasons, it just makes me want to hit something even more. And then I see Cordelia's face and it's even worse! She trusts me not to hurt her. And that's a huge deal for her. Especially after some of the stuff she's been through. But when I look at you, I forget about her. She's my f*cking fiancée and I can totally forget about her, so what does *that* say about me?"
A second after the words had left his mouth, Xander regretted them. He'd just told the one person he was trying to stay away from that he was engaged to Cordelia. And that with one look from Isabel, he was contemplating going right back inside and calling it all off. This was crazy. It was nuts. It could *not* be happening. Xander felt like ripping his hair out or hitting something *really* hard. "Look, I can't do this. I just can't. She's waiting for me inside. And all I really want to do is grab you and kiss you. And that can't happen... It just can *not* happen ever again... so... maybe I should just go..."
Right. Like the whole "staying away" approach had worked *so* well so far. Xander couldn't help but think that his life was about to just explode. Any second now. And he had no clue what to do about it...
And when she pulled back, wrenching her lips from his like she'd been branded with a hot poker, the flashes stopped. It had only take a few seconds, but to her it had seemed like an eternity.
Xander was left gasping for air, his hands still on this fake-Isabel's arms. Trying to catch his breath, he met her gaze and rasped out, "You're not Isabel."
Loni had never had this happen to her. Yeah, she could 'see' into a human, but only if she tried. It had never happened spontaneously. And this guy wasn't...human. And he had somehow known that she wasn't Isabel. Loni just wanted to get away without the guy hurting her, and she wasn't sure he wouldn't come after her. This was so different, so...new. She had also seen fanged creatures in her vision, she wasn't sure what that was, either. In her fear and confusion, she sent some alien POW out at Xander so that she could get away safely.
Xander felt something explode into his stomach, making him double over in pain and collapse to the ground. He felt his slayer/wolf powers start to kick in to take care of the damage and knew that his eyes were now glowing a bright gold. He looked up at the Isabel imposter, trying to find the strength to stand and stop her. But he was doing good to still be conscious after the hit he'd taken. He growled, both from the pain in his gut and in frustration about letting her get away, the hairs standing up on the back of his neck.
She backed away from him slowly, not wanting that..that...that *thing* to come after her. She had seen a lot of shit in New York, but nothing like this. As soon as Loni felt she had enough distance between she and the thing in front of her, she started to run full out, run to nowhere, she didn't care. As long as she was away from that beast.
And Xander was left half-laying/half sitting on the ground to the side of the Crashdown, only able to watch as she dissappeared from sight.
It took a few minutes, but he was finally able to push himself to his feet. He looked down at his shirt, and couldn't help but gape. There was a large hole in the material right in front of his stomach and the edges of the fabric were charred and black. The skin revealed was an angry red, but it was slowly fading away as his powers healed his burns. Didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell, though. Turning, he stumbled around to the side alley and headed around to the back of the Crashdown. He had to find Isabel. She must still be inside. He had to warn her about that... thing... with her face.
Opening the back door with a loud bang, he saw Isabel talking to Buffy near the kitchen. Walking up to them and grabbing Isabel by the arm, he said to Buffy, "Sorry, but I need to borrow her for a sec." Then he pulled Isabel back into the back alley, letting the door swing shut behind them. He knew he looked like hell - eyes still all wolfy and glowing gold, shirt a charred mess, obvious burn marks slowing fading away on his stomach - but he didn't care. This was more important.
"Something attacked me out front..." he began, trying to find the right words to tell Isabel what was going on. Somehow he doubted that "your evil clone blasted a hole through my stomach with her alien whammy" was the right choice of words.
Written by Sonya and Courtney; nominated by Erin.
--------------------------------
Ava walked up the stairs slowly, savoring every moment. She had gone through the kitchen and the living room briefly, but those were family rooms. Interesting, but not very revealing. If Max and Isabel were living with humans, Ava was willing to bet that the humans didn't know the aliens' secrets. If she were to find anything that would help her get to know these duplicates, it would be in their bedrooms, their personal spaces.
When she got upstairs, Ava opened the first door. A bathroom. She admired the nice tiling and the patterned shower curtain for a moment, and then moved on.
Behind the next door, she found what she was looking for. A bedroom. And a bedroom that obviously belonged to a teenaged girl. There were clothes and cosmetics a plenty in this room. Isabel could put D.J. and Stephanie to shame. Ava paused to look at the tasteful prints on the wall and the awards on a shelf.
There were some pictures on a bulliten board. Ava reached out and touched them. There was that girl, Liz, and another girl with short, blonde hair. There was a boy with a goofy grin in a picture with Isabel. Her fingers hovered over a small print of Max and Isabel together, smiling. She unpinned it from the wall and cupped it in her hand. If only she could be this happy. Would becoming a part of their world do that for her?
She looked back at the bulliten board, wondering what else she could learn. And then she caught a glimpse of something that made her heart start thudding. Rath! But, not Rath. Rath had a double here, too. But this double looked different than Isabel and Max. Even different than Tess -- though, Tess was a vampire, she still looked like the picture of suburban normality.
This Rath clone had spikey hair and was wearing a grubby T-shirt. The glare on his face as he stared at the camara made chills run down Ava's spine.
Lonnie was hard and could be mean, but Ava knew that shae and Lonnie shared at least a small bond. Zan, though she hated him now, had, sometimes, made Ava feel loved, despite other women and occasional hitting. But Rath... Rath tormented Ava mercilessly, and seemed to love to do it. He always knew just how to hurt her with a word or a look, and gloried in doing it. He thought it was all fun and games, but his fun and games could hurt, both emotionally and even physically, when Lonnie and Zan weren't around.
Ava took the picture off of the bulliten board, and held it in her other hand. She needed this. She had to avoid this Rath at all costs. If there was anyone in town Ava couldn't trust, it was this boy...
Written by Erin; nominated by Sonya.
-----------------------------
As they began to walk, Xander couldn't help but be amazed at how real this dream felt. Usually, when he dreamed, it was all kind of hazy and had an un-real quality to it. At least, they did when he could even remember them in the morning. But this dream was so much more... lucid. Willow had talked to him once about lucid dreaming... at least, that's what he *thought* she'd called it at the time... and she'd said something about being able to control what happened in the dream and being able to change things. He wondered if that would work here.
Closing his eyes as they walked hand in hand through the park, Xander concentrated on changing their surroundings. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes and was pleasantly surprised to find that they were no longer in the park. They were on the beach at sunset, walking barefoot through the warm, wet sand as the sunlight reflected off the waves that crashed around their feet.
[Hey, I'm getting pretty good at this stuff!]
Looking over at Isabel, he gently tucked a strand of her long, blonde hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger against the skin of her neck. "What do you think?" he asked softly, wondering if she liked his little scenery change.
Isabel stared deeply into Xander's chocolate eyes. She couldn't believe how vivid and coherent this dream was. Things in people's dreams weren't usually so....well, realistic. She knew there was some other word for it, but being hand in hand with Xander made her forget much of her intelligence.
"It's...perfect." She smiled. And it was. A beach at sunset...hand in hand with someone who was quickly stealing Isabel's heart. And part of her wanted to run screaming, because she knew she would get hurt. But the stronger part of her just wanted to let go and hand her heart to Xander on a silver platter.
Isabel was amazed at the fact that Xander just closed his eyes and made the surroundings different. She was usually the one to do that in a dream...not the dreamer. Isabel started to get slightly paranoid that maybe Xander wasn't being totally honest with her about himself...but her voice of reason quieted those thoughts. She trusted him. She didn't know why, or how, but she did. Maybe it was the whole hybrid connection.
'Besides,' the voice said 'some people can control their dreams like you can. remember that your powers are the powers that humans have, just most of them can't tap into'. "That's right!" Isabel mumbled to herself as she let a grin spread across her face. It seemed as though Xander was in control of his dream....and what was happening between the two. Isabel reveled in the fact that Xander would bring her to a beach at sunset. He was the perfect guy...why did he have to be attatched???
Isabel stopped walking and turned around slowly, taking in the scenery--the sights, the sounds, the smells. It had been so long since she had been to the beach, she couldn't even remember how long it was. Probably the last time was a childhood vacation to Florida where both she and Max got sick.
"I haven't been to the beach in so long..." she found herself saying. "It's so beautiful here. Everything about it is..." she turned to face Xander and intwined her small hands in his larger ones, "...perfect." The last part came out as almost a whisper. Isabel stared into Xander's eyes, and she knew instantly that he was just as aware of this dream as she was...but she didn't care. She was too wrapped up in the fantasy of it to even really think about it. She was focused on the 'here and now' so to speak.
Xander felt like he was falling and he didn't know how to stop it... or if he even wanted this to stop. Standing on a sunset beach, lost in Isabel Evans' beautiful eyes, Xander had to keep reminding himself that this was only a dream. That he'd wake up in the morning and probably not even remember all of this. That in real life, he was in love with someone else. Because, while he was caught up in this dream world, it was easy to forget what was real and what wasn't. But maybe Xander wanted to forget. Just for a little while.
Using his hold on Isabel's hands to pull her closer to him, Xander didn't let go until she was so close that their bodies were almost touching. Then his hands released hers, but they didn't wander far. Gently cupping her face between his hands, he leaned forward slowly until their noses touched and he could feel her warm breath on his cheek.
Isabel was trembling as Xander pulled her to him and gave her an 'eskimo kiss'. She could barely breathe. She had never felt anything like this before in her life. No one had ever made her feel so lost in the moment. So loved.
"I want to kiss you," he whispered, his lips brushing across her cheek lightly, his breath rustling the stands of hair by her ear. "I know that you're not really Isabel and that I'll wake up in the morning and this will all have been just a dream, but I don't care."
Isabel wished she could speak and tell Xander that it was more than just a dream, but she knew that she dared not to. She had to let things play out, and live with them in the morning. And keep them to herself.
He touched his forehead to hers, letting his eyes slip closed, still trying to hold onto even a shred of his restraint. Isabel smelled wonderful, like flowers and exotic spices and something else that he couldn't place a name to. Finally, he gave up on restraint in favor of the dream-Isabel who felt so wonderful and smelled so wonderful. He'd worry about restraint when he was awake and in the real world, thank you very much.
Isabel's eyes slipped closed as Xander rested his forehead against hers. She took a deep breath, and all she could smell was the musky scent of him. She loved how he smelled. There was just something about him that made her forget all reason, all truths. It made her become lost in the moment...lost in the two of them.
Xander titled his head to the side and, without even having to open his eyes, found her lips with his. The dream-kiss was tentative, gentle and full of promises of more to come. His hands left her face and slipped down her neck, over her shoulders and skimmed down across her bare back, stopping where the silky fabric of her dress covered the small of her back and her hips. He'd never been more thankful for the person who'd invented the low-backed dress than he was right now. His hands retraced their path up her back as the kiss grew more passionate. He slowly pulled her closer until their bodies were finally touching. Breaking off the kiss when breathing was becoming an issue, Xander placed little butterfly kisses across her cheek and down her neck, lingering at her pulse point. He wanted to know that her heart - even if she was only a dream-Isabel - was racing just as quickly as his was.
Isabel returned Xander's kisses, which were full of passion, and caring. One of her hands made it's way to the nape of his neck, where she carressed his hair. The other hand made it's way to the middle of his back, and she ran it up and down, gently tickling. The hand at his neck made it's way into his soft, fluffy hair. She started to cry in spite of herself. As Xander placed kisses all over her neck and ran his hands all up and down her back, she just took it all in. It was all too real to her, and she cried for that. She cried for the feelings that Xander made her feel---she felt loved, accepted. And she cried because she knew that this amazing dream would have to end. But she pushed that thought from her head. She was going to enjoy the here and now as much as she could. Her heart raced, and as he placed kisses at her pulse point. Their bodies were so close, Isabel could hardly tell where she ended and Xander began...they fit together like two pieces to a puzzle. She held him close, not wanting to let go. The tears continued to stream down her face.
Xander thought about how this wasn't real. He thought about why this could never be real. He thought of the person who he was betraying, even though this was only a dream. And he felt himself begin to cry. As he held Isabel close, burying his face in her soft hair and wrapping his arms around her waist, he cried for the unfairness of this world. How could he feel so strongly for two different women like this? How could it be right for him to be so torn? His human side, the side that wanted to be normal again, craved Cordelia. He loved her more than even his own life and they had so much history between them. They'd been through thick and thin together. But the outsider in him - call it the wolf or the freak - needed Isabel. He had no clue why. After all, she was just a normal girl. She wasn't a half-breed like him. But, after only one day, something deep inside of him called out to her, overriding sense and reason and even love. Xander felt like he was being torn in half. And he didn't know what to do about it.
Isabel felt Xander start to cry as well, and she held him tightly as he did so. She rested her head on his shoulder and just let go. She sobbed for everything that was now, for everything she felt and for everything that would never be. Isabel knew that Xander had a girlfriend that he loved in the real world. And even though she was the 'ice princess' and sometimes percieved as an uncaring bitch, she didn't want to hurt Xander. She wouldn't tear him away from his love, she owed that much to him. Isabel didn't know how or why, but she knew that she had fallen, and fallen hard. There was a strange connection with Xander, it must have been the hybrid in them both, calling out to one another. But of course he couldn't know that, because he had no idea of her hybrid status. Isabel continued to cry for herself, for Xander, for what they had now that would never be for real.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against her shoulder, trying to ignore how perfectly her body fit against his. "I don't want to hurt you..."
"I know." She whispered. "I don't want to hurt you, either." she said honestly.
As they stood there on the dream-beach with the dream-surf crashing around their dream-ankles, Xander wished that this Isabel was real. That she could hear his words and know the truth behind them. That she would know how much he cared about her and how much that emotion was cutting him up inside. That she could give him all the answers that he was too blind to see and make everything right again. Xander wasn't even aware that he was voicing his thoughts aloud until he heard himself begin to speak to her in hushed but sincere tones. "I wish you were real. I wish you knew... everything I am... everything I feel..."
"I am real." she caught herself saying. She wasn't sure how to follow that up, but she had to, because if he remembered her here in the morning, well, lets just say things would be more complicated then they already were. "To you, right here, right now. Tell me how you feel.....please." she pleaded with him. She needed to know. How he felt...even though it might kill her in the morning.
Suddenly they were standing in Xander's apartment, still locked in an embrace. The fancy clothes were gone, replaced with ordinary jeans and t-shirts. Their feet were still bare. She wore her hair in a simple pony tail and his hair was slightly disheveled from the wind on the beach. He could feel the softness of his rugs beneath his feet and knew, somehow, that he would be waking up soon. The numbers on his dream-clock said 5:30 am. Xander didn't even know how they'd gotten here. He hadn't been trying for the relocation. It had just happened. Maybe his subconsciousness was trying to tell him something. But he didn't want to listen. Not yet.
Isabel noticed the change in surroundings and in their clothes. 'How did that happen?' she thought. She wondered where they were, and could only guess that it was Xander's apartment. But it seemed...so...real. She could feel the carpet beneath her feet, and somehow, it didn't seem like the dream plane anymore...
He had things to say. Things he couldn't say in the real world because then they would be all too real. And he wasn't ready for that. "I think I'm falling in love with you," he whispered, still holding her close. His hands ran up and down her back, though now there was a thin layer of cotton between them and her soft skin. He missed the red dress. He thought briefly of Cordelia, who also looked beautiful in red, and his heart ached in his chest. "But I love her, too. And it's tearing me up inside."
Isabel held on to Xander for dear life. What he was saying hit her right in the pit of her being, because she knew it without him saying it. And him saying it made it all too real. The tears continued to fall down her cheeks as he layed his heart out on the line. She just held him in a bear hug as he ran his hands up and down her back in loving motions. "I'm falling for you, too." she whispered. "Faster and harder than I ever imagined could happen."
"And I'm sorry. For hurting you. Because you are hurting. I hate to see you so torn up." she said. Isabel didn't know how any of this had started. How was she feeling these things for him? How was this all so real to them both?? Isabel waited for them to wake up, for she knew the end was close. They continued to stand there for awhile, and Is wondered what was going on.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Isabel heard the chirping of an alarm clock, and thought it was hers. She didn't want to wake up...
"My alarm clock," Xander groaned, his arms still wrapped tightly around dream-Isabel. His eyes shut reflexively, wanting to keep from waking up. But, like all good things, this dream had to come to an end. Stepping back, he reached over to hit the snooze button on his alarm clock. Then he yawned, cracking open first one eye and then the other. What he saw made him jump backwards reflexively, which just made him hit the back of his legs on the couch and loose his balance, slipping down to a sitting position with a thump. There, standing in front of him in the same jeans and t-shirt from his dream, was Isabel Evans. And she looked just as shocked to be here as he was to see her here.
Isabel went to roll to her side and slap the snooze button on her alarm as Xander reluctantly let go of her and went to his. Suddenly, Isabel realized that she couldn't roll over to her side. She blinked and looked around her. Somehow, she had been transported to Xander's apartment. Her face drained of all colour, she slowly turned her gaze to Xander. The expression on his face culminated how she felt. 'What now, Miss alien??' her subconscious teased.
Standing up quickly, Xander pinched his arm, expecting to suddenly wake up under his covers on the couch in his boxers - just like he had been when he went to sleep a few hours ago. But nothing happened. Isabel was still standing in his living room and he was... WAIT! HIS BOXERS?!?! Looking down, Xander breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that he was still in his jeans and t-shirt from the dream as well.
Looking back up, he met Isabel's eyes. He could still feel the soft press of her lips against his and her hands in his hair. It was unnerving, to say the least. "Um... not to sound insane, but... why are you in my living room?" [And how much do you remember of that amazing but extremely revealing dream?]
Isabel looked around. "I was just about to ask the same thing. What am I doing here?" Isabel knew that she had consciously walked in his dream, but this had never happened before. She had no explanation for it. What was she going to tell Xander? What was happening?? Isabel didn't know what was going on. Something had gone terribly wrong with her powers. It must have been because she was directly involved in the dream. "I, um, I don't know how this happened..." Isabel began, not knowing how to explain herself or what to say...
Xander ran a hand through his hair, only suceeding in messing it up even more. "This is weird..."
"Too wierd," Isabel mumbled.
Fixing Isabel with a serious look, he asked, "Were we both having the same... dream?" He was afraid of the answer. On one hand, he wanted her to say no so that his feelings could remain safely locked up inside him. But on the other hand, he wanted desperately for her to say yes. He wanted her to know how he felt. And he wanted to know if she felt the same way about him...
At his question about the dream, she locked gazes with Xander. She knew that she couldn't lie to him. They had been having the same dream, and it was the most wonderful dream that she had ever had...but it wasn't really a dream. She couldn't tell him all that, though. It left her too vulnerable, in more ways than one.
"Um, I, uh..." Isabel sputtered. When she felt herself reddening she looked at the floor, not really knowing how to answer him, and not wanting him to see her blushing. Still gazing down, she managed "...I can only imagine so." She knew she was fibbing a little bit. She knew damn well that they were having the same 'dream', but she couldn't explain to Xander what had happened. Part of Isabel felt that she was invading Xander's deepest being and thoughts, but she didn't care. She had needed to do it for herself, and she found out what she was looking for. And what she found out would always haunt her, especially knowing that she and Xander couldn't act on the newfound feelings.
"Oh," Xander replied, looking down at his hands and fidgiting nervously. "I see."
Isabel finally raised her gaze to meet Xanders again. She wondered what happened from here.
Not knowing that he was actually voicing her very thoughts aloud, Xander asked, "Where do we go from here?"
Isabel gave Xander a puzzled look. How had he read her mind? What was it with their connection?
"How did you do that?" she voiced. It was just too strange. Isabel knew why, it must have been the hybrid status of the two. She thought about Xander and how he must feel about all of this, thinking that she was normal. Isabel wished she could tell him the truth, for like the 100th time that night.
"Do what?" he asked, though he already thought he knew the answer. Reading Isabel Evans' mind was becoming more and more of a common occurance lately... for some strange reason they seemed to be connected. It was exhilerating and scary all at the same time. "Nevermind. I think I know."
It was so strange. The more time they spent together, the more and more Xander knew what she was thinking. And vice versa. She felt fear and excitement all at once, and she instinctively knew that was what Xander was feeling too.
Bringing her mind back to his earlier question, she replied, "Honestly, Xander? I don't know." Isabel sighed
"I do," he replied, feeling sick to his stomach with the thought of actually saying these next words aloud. But he had to say them. "We go on as if this never happened. Too many people would be hurt if they found out about what happened between us tonight. And I couldn't live with myself if that happened. I don't think either of us could."
Isabel's face saddened slightly. "Yeah." she said. "I knew you were going to say that. And it's what needs to happen." She nodded.
Looking at his clock, Xander saw that it was already 6 am. They had school to get ready for, which meant that Isabel would have to leave soon. But one part of him, the selfish part, didn't want her to go.
However, time for them was running out.
Acting on instinct, and knowing that he would never get a chance to do this again, Xander reached out and touched Isabel's cheek, his fingers winding their way into her silky soft hair and pulling her closer to him, his head tilting down and meeting her lips in an intense kiss. He'd obviously caught her off guard because her mouth was slightly open in an "o" of surprise. Xander, knowing this was the only time he'd ever be able to be with her like this, took advantage of that to coax her mouth open and deepen their kiss. He wanted to sear this memory onto his brain. The feel of her in his arms, her lips crushed against his, her breath warm on his cheek each time they broke for air. He was so involved in the moment that he forgot where he was and his legs bumped against the edge of his couch, sending him sprawling backwards onto it for the second time that morning. But this time, Isabel fell with him, his arms still wrapped around her waist and her hair falling loose from her pony tail and trailing over their faces. And, as impossible as he would have thought it, this was even better than the kiss in their dreams.
Isabel was taken off guard as Xander swept her into another passionate kiss. She hadn't expected that at all, but she was glad that it had happened. It was a kiss full of passion, full of excitement...full of love. Isabel never wanted it to stop. She was shaking and thought she was in heaven. When Xander stumbled backwards and landed on the couch, Is wasn't sure what had happened, but Xander's hold on her was secure and she landed on top of him. As they continued their passionate embrace, Isabel's hands continued to twine throught Xander's thinck dark hair. It was amazing the connection the two had after only a few hours of knowing one another.
[We have to stop,] Xander instructed himself sternly, trying to regain self control. [Stopping should happen now.]
Only with extreme force of will was he able to tear his lips away from hers. His forehead rested against hers as he tried to breath normally again. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice sounding strange to his own ears. "I just had to... one last time... with you... sorry..."
Isabel knew that it couldn't last forever, and when Xander pulled away from her, she wasn't surprised, just disappointed.
She looked deeply into his eyes and a single tear slid out of her eye. "I know." she said simply. But she didn't move, she couldn't, she was frozen, wishing that the moment didn't have to end. She couldn't stop, not yet. Isabel lowered her lips back down to Xanders, wanting to kiss him at least one more time.
Xander met Isabel's passionate kiss with his own intense one, forgetting all about stopping in the heat of the moment. His hands slipped up underneath her t-shirt, stroking her back and shoulders as his lips moved away from hers and he made his way down the side of her neck, leaving what would probably be a fairly large hickey on the spot where her neck met her shoulder. Her t-shirt, a bit too big for her slender frame, slid to the side, baring one shoulder to Xander's questing mouth. Their legs tangled together, bringing their lower bodies even closer, as Xander's mouth returned to Isabel's lips.
Just as it was nearing the point of no return, Xander's alarm clock went off again. Isabel pulled away and peeled her body off of Xander's. She sat up on the couch. "I'm sorry." she said. "I didn't mean to...but I couldn't help myself." Isabel waited for Xander's reply, knowing that it would all be ending too soon.
As for Xander, he had to take a moment to compose himself before sitting up as well. His breath was coming in ragged gasps and his hair stood at funny angles. "It's okay," he said, "I started it, after all." It was taking everything in him to rein in his hormones and keep his composure around Isabel Evans, especially when she was looking so sexily disheveled and oh so kissable.
[Bad thoughts, Xander. Don't *even* go back to that line of thinking!]
Reaching over, he adjusted her t-shirt so it was no longer hanging dangerousily low on one shoulder. As he gaze lighted briefly on her neck, he winced. "You might want to wear a turtleneck to school today. I'm sorry about that..."
"It's ok. I'll deal with it." she said, meaning that she would cover it up with makeup. She could always heal it, but it was one of the few things that made her feel normal...a hickey, from a guy, who treated her like she were normal, beautiful and loved.
Finally managing to completely compose himself, Xander leaned across the couch and brushed a soft, sweet and short kiss over her lips. Their last kiss. "You'd better go. It's past 6 and we both have to get ready for school."
Isabel closed her eyes and returned Xander's sweet brushing kiss. She knew it was meant, by all intent and purposes to be their last, but she also knew, by instinct, that it wouldn't be. Not by far. Maybe their last for that particular night, but not their last forever. "Yeah, I'd better. Max or my parents will freak if they look in my room and I'm not there." Isabel stood and gathered her hair back into a ponytail, and straightening her shirt.
She stood to leave then looked down at her feet. They were bare...
"Oh, great. Now I have to walk all the way home without shoes on." She said rolling her eyes. From the events of the day, this was about the last straw. Isabel was ready to crack and start crying right then and there over not having shoes. It was stupid, she knew, and she held back, because she knew that Xander was already hurting. She refused to rub the salt into his wounds by letting him see her cry over the situation.
Xander felt bad. Not only had he somehow managed to drag Isabel into his dreams and his apartment and betray Cordelia's trust in him... but he also left Isabel without any shoes! "Um... I think maybe Willow left a pair of shoes over here last night... they might fit you..."
"That would be really good, where are they?" Isabel questioned as she began to scan the room for a pair of girly shoes...
Xander reached behind the couch and pulled out a small duffle bag, handing it to Isabel. "Wills forgot this, she's got a change of clothes and shoes and stuff in there."
"Thank you." she said. Isabel unzipped the bag, and digging around, found the aforementioned shoes. They were a pair of flip flops...and it didn't take much for those to fit just about anyone. Besides, Isabel could alter them once she left Xander's apartment. "I don't need the clothes, just the shoes. I'll change when I get home." She managed a polite smile for Xander's sake. She didn't want him to feel too badly about the situation. Isabel walked over to the door and grasped the handle.
"You can give me back the shoes at school," he replied, trying not to think about the fact that he was already planning secret meetings between the two of them... even if it was aledgedly to get the shoes back.
"Oh, um, ok. I'm sure that I'll see you sometime. I'll just keep them in my locker." Isabel replied. She smiled inwardly, because from his statement just now, it meant that Xander wasn't going to be avoiding her. Actually, it seemed like the opposite. School would be interesting tomorrow, and Isabel wasn't sure whether she was eager or apprehensive to see how things turned out. But she was going to let Xander make the first or any other move, because he was the one with the signifigant other, not her.
"I guess I'll see you at school." she said. "And all this" she waved her hand between them "never happened." It was a statemtent, and she knew that Xander was thinking and feeling it as much as she. "Goodbye, Xander."
"Goodbye, Isabel," he replied, looking anywhere but at her face. [I wish it was as easy as we're making it out to be.] he thought. [But somehow I know that this isn't over yet...]
Isabel noticed Xander avoiding her eyes, and it just about broke her. She knew why he was doing it, though, and she understood. Is paused at in the doorway for a second and then was gone, closing the door behind her. She looked around the halls, this place looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't put a finger on it. "Chalk it up to the hybrid connection." she mumbled to herself and rolled her eyes.
Finding a closet to hide in for a second, Isabel turned the flip flops that were gangly on her feet into a pair of sneakers that were comfortable to walk in. She exited the closet and made her way to the streets of Roswell. It was a perfect morning, and Isabel regretted her inability to enjoy it. Unconsciously, tears began to stream down her face, for the zillionth time that day. She angrily wiped them away, upset with her inability to remain strong. She started running, and ran fast and hard all the way home. When she reached the Evans' household, she just sat on the back steps and laid her head in her arms and bawled like a baby. She didn't want to wake up anyone in the house, and it didn't matter, she couldn't talk to them about this anyways. Isabel sighed and stood to her feet. She contemplated going in the house through the door, but rethought her strategy and headed toward her bedroom window, which remained open from when Xander had left there the night before...
Written by Sonya and Courtney; nominated by Erin.